This Ain't New Orleans
by Trapperjohnmcintyre
Summary: Stuck up, Southern Belle, Lyra Arvizu, happily attends Serpentinoir Academy for the Magically Gifted in New Orleans until her world is set awry when her sister meets a handsome Brit who happens to have a ritzy residence in London. Lyra's sister is set to follow this stranger to the ends of the earth which means that Lyra has no choice but to tag along.
1. Prologue

I was living in Jackson, Mississippi with my sister when she showed up.

Madame Tyler.

My mama had died not long after I was born so I was living with my sister who was working two jobs trying to make rent and put food on the table. I was eight. They start them younger over there. I had just walked home from school. Eager to cool off, I had dumped myself on the cool leather couch in the living room when I heard the doorbell chime. Frowning I got up. Our doorbell had been broken for several months now. I crept over to the window and peeked out onto the porch to see a pretty woman with long black hair standing there dressed all in black. She was staring directly at me. She seemed to besmoking a cigar. Embarrassed at being caught staring I rushed to the door and opened it. The woman looked down at me and smiled.

"Hi there, Lyra. Would you mind letting me in?" I paused. I was not supposed to let strangers in while my sister was at work but I couldn't help but open the door for her as she fixed me with a piercing gaze. She walked into the room and went directly to the couch and sat down. Looking at me expectantly she patted the couch beside her and I moved towards her and sat down as if moved by an invisible force. She said nothing as she sat there. Finally I turned to her and asked, "Are you waitin for Bree, ma'am? Cause she ain't gon be home till six."

"I know that, child." She replied. She said nothing more.

"Then why you here?" I burst out suddenly. This time she smiled softly at me. Then she grabbed my hand and turned it over so my palm was facing up and traced a small line that travelled across my palm.

"Me an your sis got to talk somthings over. Some things about you. You got magic in your blood." I stared at her wide-eyed when I heard the screen door swing on its hinges and my sister's voice as she came in.

"Lyra! Why is la puerta no cerrada? Lyra?" She called in the ménage of spanglish that we usually spoke to each other in. The woman smiled at my sister as she came into the living room glancing bewildered at me and the strange woman on the couch.

It was that night that I leaned that I was a witch. My sister and I moved to New Orleans not long after Madame Tyler's visit. There I attended Serpentinoir Academy for the Magically Gifted in New Orleans. There I discovered a secret world that I had not dared to hope possible. Madame Tyler ran the school which took up a stately block in the French Quarter amidsts tick curtains of spanish moss. There was never a dull day at the Academy. Surrounded by red velvet curtains and seated on plush purple cushions I learned Divination, History of Ancient Magic. I took Shop of Magical Instruments and at Eleven I was presented with my very own wand. Hickory with a base of hair of Rougarou. I continued my lessons at the Academy and my sister picked up a job in a hotel not far from the school. In my first year out of elementary magic my sister got promoted to Hospitality manager at the hotel. Then she met John.

I liked John well enough. He was nice to my sister and she really liked him. Though I think this was mostly due to his long black hair and singsong British accent. Bree knew he was like me. She said she saw the signs. I could see it too when I met him. I t was nice to have another person like me that I could look up to other than my teachers at the Academy. Bree and John started going steady. Around my fifteenth birthday I could see something was troubling John. He kept sending letters off with some Roseate Spoonbills and looking tired and stressed. Then one day John told my sister some shocking news. His actual name was not John, it was Sirius. He was a convicted criminal in my world. And he had to return to England because of his god son who happened to be Harry Potter. I'd heard quite a bit bout this boy at the Academy. Unfortunately, it turned out that my sister loved Sirius. Evan after he confessed all that. Even worse he was filthy rich and had a house back in London. He wanted my sister to come and she accepted. The flight over was exhausting and it was apparent that Sirius' house needed some working on when we arrived but despite all of it I'd never seen my sister happier. For me; however, it was a completely different story.


	2. Housemates from Hell

**Disclaimer: Jk Rowling owns everything Harry Potter. She also owns my body. Don't judge.**

 **Also, you must read this story in a southern accent or all is for naught.**

 **Side note: Have you ever, like, needed to cry but just couldn't get the tears going? I have. Then I had the brilliant idea that in order to get the waterworks going I should most definitely google "Fred and George feels." 30 minutes later I realized that whatever had upset me in the first place all stemmed from the fact that Jk Rowling killed Fred in the last book. Then I realized that everything I had ever been upset with stemmed from that deep rooted trauma. Then I realized that I'm such a dick to everyone because I've been trying to compensate for the fact that Fred is dead. So there's that. Moral of the story: Don't ever google "Fred and George feels."**

 **Anyhow, I would like some reviews but please be nice. I'm in a very fragile emotional state (see above paragraph).**

I was in my room, rearranging a few things trying to make it look less glum when Sirius poked his head into my room and smiled at me.

"Hey Lyra. Could you come downstairs for a bit. There's someone I want you to meet." I narrowed my eyes at him and nodded. I still hadn't forgiven him for tearing me away from Madame Tyler and the Academy. As I stepped into the kitchen I was greeted by a tall, ancient man with a long snowy beard.

"Good morning, Lyra." He greeted me motioning me to take a seat. "I am professor Dumbledore."

I stared at him unimpressed. His eyes twinkled as he continued. "I am the Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Sirius has asked me to consider taking you into my school." I raised an eyebrow at him as if asking "and?"

"I've put together a written test which I will have you do now if you don't mind. And then you will demonstrate a few spells for me and I will see how far along you are and if I will be able to accept you."

I accepted the packet grimly and began instantly. I found most of it extremely easy. The only part I seemed to have trouble on was the History section due to the fact that History at my school had focused mostly in the Americas and not Europe. I explained this to Dumbledore as I handed the packet back to him. The spells he asked me to demonstrate were all very simple. For the finale, he asked me to brew a Draught of Living Death providing me with all the ingredients with a flick of his wand. This I did with ease. Madame Tyler had always loved brewing and she made sure each student was able to produce stellar potions. Dumbledore leafed through my written test as I prepared the potion and when I finished he leaned over the potion and smelled it. Nodding approvingly Dumbledore looked impress.

"Well, I think you'll be quite able to handle continuing your education at Hogwarts."

 _Of course I'll be able to handle your wussy school!_ I thought silently. I wouldn't besmirch the name of Madame Tyler by being any less than perfect.

"Unfortunately, it's too late in the year for you to resume this year so you will begin your classes next September. I feel confident this short interlude will not diminish you talents. You seem to be fairly ahead at any rate." he complimented me.

"Thank you, sir."

"I think you'll like Hogwarts very much, Lyra." He peered down at my somber expression before he smiled and left to talk to Sirius.

The next few months passed slowly. Bree and I continued working on the house to make it look presentable and I continued studying my books which I had brought back from the Academy. Sirius was often gone, checking up on his god son, I assumed. Then one day, as I was sitting at the kitchen table, sipping some homemade sweet tea when Sirius burst through the door looking haggard.

"He's back." He panted when I fixed him with a questioning stare. "Voldemort is back." I stared at him in shock.

I'd heard quite a bit about this Voldemort in Wizarding Warfare of the 20th century. I gathered this was not good news. Soon my sister appeared downstairs and Sirius and I explained to her the significance of this Voldemort's return. Then Sirius went on to spout off about this "Order of the Phoenix" thing and how we were using the house for headquarters. I rolled my eyes. Exactly what I needed, more triflin' Brits snoopin' about. It wasn't long after that people started making appearances. This girl with pink hair and this tall black guy with an earring seemed to be regulars. I saw Dumbledore quite a few times as well. One day as I was holed up in my room reading about the significance of Newt's Tails in potions making someone knocked at my door.

"C'min." I drawled lazily.

"Hey, Lyra." It was Sirius.

"Hey." I said, not taking my eyes from the page. Sirius walked in and sat down on the twin bed directly across from mine.

"So, Lyra." He began, he looked nervous. I smiled a bit and put down the book. I hadn't been the nicest person to Sirius ever since we left New Orleans and he'd been tiptoeing around me like I was a bomb about to go off. "How would you feel about sharing your room with possibly two other girls." I narrowed my eyes at him. He dove ahead, "Seeing as this the headquarters for the Order and there are people who need a safer dwelling as it is . . ." He trailed off and looked at me expectantly. I rolled my eyes. It was a good thing Sirius had never had kids, he was a total pushover.

"It's your house, Sirius." I replied. Then, looking at his pained expression, I added. "I guess I could use some company." His expression brightened at this and he jumped up and gently patted my head beaming.

"I thought so as well! And you'll have plenty of it. The Weasley's have seven kids, after all." he made his way towards the door saying as he left. "No need to look so shocked, Lyra, they're only bringing the four." I scowled at his retreating form.

The day these Weasley's were set to arrive, I helped Sirius move a third bed into the corner of the large room and then set about rearranging my things and making space in the closet for the other girls. Quite suddenly a heard a loud boom downstairs before Sirius' hag of a mother started yellin' some shit about blood traitors. And if that weren't enough another woman joined in the shrieking, yelling, "FRED! GEORGE! THE NEXT TIME YOU SET OFF ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE WRETCHED FIREWORKS I WILL PERSONALLY THROW YOU IN A NEST OF DOXIES!" I stared at the door wide-eyed. _Who are these loony crackers?_ As the woman continued her threats I heard a series of rushed footsteps pounding up the stairs and someone saying,

"In here, Fred!"

and then,"No, in here."

And then two voices together, "Right, divide and conquer."

And suddenly my door was thrust open and a lanky ginger rushed in, slammed it shut, and locked it. He stood at my door, peeking through the peep-hole breathe abated.

"Ahem" I cleared my throat roughly. Slowly the boy turned around and I was greeted by an angular face with hazel eyes and a high nose with a smattering of freckles across it. I glared. "Can I help you?" He stared at me wide-eyed.

"Er- sorry?" he looked confused.

"Can I help you." I repeated coldly.

He continued staring. "Um, what?"

"Can I HELP YOU?" I enunciated slowly. This time he smiled.

"Oh, haha. No, actually. Sorry bout bursting in here and the- well, I couldn't really understand due to your accent." I stared at him, my mouth forming a rigid line and my brow lowering angrily. He shuffled nervously. "I mean. It's a nice accent, quite cute actually." I was about to respond that cute was the last thing I was trying to be and to suggest that he clean his imperialist ears when another one burst in saying.

"George, are you in here? Oh, there you are." I stared at the other one and he stared at me. I groaned inwardly. Why were there two of them?

"Y'all twins?" I thought I'd ask just to make sure no one had been drinking Polyjuice potion. It seemed like just the sort of thing these boys would do. The newer one stared at me blankly.

"Huh?" I gave him a deadly glare.

"Forget it." I muttered darkly, turning back to my book. The twins looked at each other, shrugged, and walked over to the twin bed across from me and sat down, grinning at me infuriatingly. I sighed and lowered my book.

"I'm Fred, by the way." The one on the right stated.

"No you ain't." I snapped. "He just called you, George. I ain't stupid." I added. Their grins widened.

"Grumpy, aren't we?" The other one asked. "I do love a challenge, George." George nodded eagerly as I continued glaring at them. "What's your name?"

I picked my book up again before hissing, "Lyra."

"Well, that's pretty!" George declared brightly. I grumbled something unintelligible a I continued reading. After a moment I peered over the top of my book to see the twins still staring at me.

I tossed the book aside once again saying, "Alright what do you two want?"

"Oh, we're just waiting out the storm." they grinned at me, obviously indicating their mother whom I could hear still huffing about. "So, you're from America?" Fred questioned me. I nodded.

"Jackson, Mississippi." I confided to them. "It's in the South."

"Thus the accent." George grinned.

"What accent?" I sneered as I propped myself against some pillows. Fred and George looked at each other and then back at me. George cleared his throat.

"So . . . you're going to Hogwarts in September?" I nodded at him. "Cool . . .cool." He looked down. "Where did you go to school before?" He asked. My face fell as I was reminded of the academy.

"Serpentinoir Academy for the Magically Gifted in New Orleans." I stated proudly. "It's in Louisiana." I added.

"I knew that." Defended George quickly. I shrugged, shaking my thick black hair out of my face and propping myself on my elbow.

"So this Pigmole-"

"Hogwarts." Fred and George corrected me in unison.

"Right. So this Hogwarts place. Is it a decent school?"

"Decent?" Started Fred, incredulously. "It's only the best bloody school in Britain!" I shrugged again.

"I hear it's the only wizarding school in Britain."

"Fair point." George conceded. "But it really is great!" And with that the two launched off on a lengthy verbal tour of Hogwarts. I was only half listening to their Hogwarts promotion when a flurry of footsteps were heard and a soft knocking assaulted my door.

"Come in!" The three of us called. I glared at Fred and George as another thin ginger entered the room accompanied by a dark girl with bushy hair.

"Y'hear that, boys. It's called knocking." I continued glaring at the boys. "It's what generally precedes entering an occupied room. In polite society." I added for a good measure.

The two girls stared at the boys. "What are you two doing in here?" The bushy haired girl crossed her arms.

"What are _YOU_ doing here?" Fred mimicked her movements.

"Yeah." Said George standing up, crossing the room to the third bed and plopping down on it. "This is OUR room. Go find your own." The two new girls simultaneously rolled their eyes at the twins then looked at me expectantly.

"What?" I shrugged at them.

The redhead stared. "This is the _GIRL'S_ room." She stated the obvious.

"Uh huh." I continued as Fred and George grinned at me. "I still don't see the issue." Fred and George's grin slowly slipped off of their faces as they realized I was questioning their masculinity.

"HEY!" They both looked indignant as the stomped towards the door.

"Dont worry, George. We'll find the manliest room around. And you lot arent invited. Cause it's for men. Which we are. Men."

"And you'll know which one it is cause it will be reeking of manliness." Supplied George.

I wrinkled my nose at him. "Ew."

"So avoid whichever corner of the house the Backstreet Boy's latest hit is coming from?" I questioned George.

"The what?" George shot me a confused glare.

"Nevermind." I sighed.


	3. Bargaining, Bulbasaur, and the Blues

_"Aw, shit. Here we go, a little soul from the golden ghetto."- Willie Brown, Crossroads_

The summer seemed to fly by quickly and before long we were joined by a rather angry boy with unruly black hair and round glasses whom I found out to be Harry Potter. A couple of days before we were to depart to Hogwarts the Weasley twins burst into our room. I looked up from my suitcase which I'd been packing and pulled out a small, black figurine.

"Do y'all know what this is?" I questioned the intruding twins, waving it above my open suitcase.

They both looked at me blankly. "Looks like a doll." Supplied Fred, "It has no face though. Aren't you a little old to be playing with dolls, anyhow?" He asked as he plopped down on my bed. I raised my eyebrow at him as I pulled yet another item from my case: a pincushion full of needles.

"What the hell!?" George yelped as he pulled Fred up. "That's dark magic!" He cried in alarm.

"It ain't dark magic, it's Voodoo." I snapped at him. "And I ain't afraid t' use this if y'all don't start knocking afore comin' int'my room!" I pulled out one of the pins and began cleaning under my nails innocently. "Now, whadchyall want?"

"Right." George eyed the doll warily. "Um, you're spose to come with us to get your school books tomorrow. Mum's taking the others." I sighed. Great. stuck with these fools for an afternoon.

"I so look forward to it." I grumbled as they hurried out the door. "Y'all knock next time! Y'hear!" I yelled at their retreating forms.

The next morning I woke up bright and early and ran down stairs to get a quick breakfast before my day of shopping. Afterwards I returned to my room and slipped on some jeans and a t-shirt as quietly as I could. I needn't have bothered being so considerate though because as soon as I had started furiously brushing my hair there was a loud BANG! BANG! BANG! on the door and Hermione and Ginny woke up groaning.

"What is wrong with you two!" I shouted as I thrust opened the door. Fred grinned at me stupidly, "Well, you told us to knock!"

"There's people in here tryna sleep!" I huffed at him. "Where's Jorge?" I asked as Fred rolled his eyes.

"He's a-comin." He twanged, trying to mimic my Southern drawl. I gave him an unimpressed look as I pushed past him and started down stairs. I didn't have long to wait before I was joined by the twins.

"Right-o. We all ready to go?" George asked, glancing at my t-shirt. I assumed he was looking at the Duke Ellington banner that was spread across the front.

"Yep." I replied. We all crowded together and apparated into Diagon Ally. I glanced around at the gray, but charming strip. There were quite a few underground Wizarding establishments in New Orleans and I'd been to most of them. My stomach twisted in homesickness as I thought back to the red and purple silks that seemed to be hanging everywhere and the constant smell of incense and scented candles. Diagon Ally just seemed so gray and, well, British. I shook thoughts of home out of my mind as I reminded myself that I was lucky to have this opportunity to experience another country. Fred and George led me to a place called Flourish and Blott's and I gathered my books as I read them off of the school list. I brought my books to the counter and placed them down with a loud thump. The witch at the counter looked up at me through thick glasses and blinked. She studied my books before announcing, "That'll be twelve sickles."

"Ten." I replied flatly. The woman blinked again. "Sorry, deary?"

"Y'can't charge me twelve sickles for these books, they all beat up. Worse than most, I spect." I haggled with her, gesturing to my second-hand tomes.

The woman kept blinking. "Very well. Ten." She said uncertainly. I smirked to myself as I fished around for the coins. This woman obviously didn't know how to barter properly. Fred and George gave me surprised looks as I marched off with my purchases.

Catching up with me after they had purchased their books Fred hissed at me, "Lyra, you can't just demand a lower price for merchandise that's clearly priced!" I stared at him blankly.

"How'd you spect me to barter then?" I fired at him.

"We don't. This isn't New Orleans, Lyra. You look at the marked price and you pay it." I shrugged at him.

"Well, I didn' have to, now did I?" Fred and George rolled their eyes at me as they hurried to Madame Malkin's to get me fitted. Returning from Diagon Alley I rushed upstairs with my new books and robes and crammed them into my suitcase along with some of my old books from the Academy. I wanted to have them on hand in case these Hogwarts books weren't up to par. The next day, I left with the Weasleys to the station. After forcing me through a large pillar (crazy ass crackers), I found myself faced with a very large, red train. I liked the train. I was surprised when Mrs Weasley pulled me into a bone crushing hug and demanded that I write to her and my "poor sister".

" Yes, ma'am." I replied before Fred and George dragged me onto the train and we set off. I was excited to get to this Hogwarts (though I would never admit it). I needed to get some real friends and detach myself from these crazy gringos _ay-sap_. It was dark by the time we arrived at what the boys called "the Hogsmeade station." And I was told to board a boat with a bunch of eleven year old by a very large, rough looking man. As the boats took off by themselves and we rounded some rocky hills, I was greeted by the sight of a large glittering castle. I had to admit, I was awed by the sheer size of it. It made the Academy look like a one roomed school house. As we all climbed out of the boats and headed towards the castle, we were greeted by a stern looking woman who led us inside. Looking about, I was once again awed by vastness of the castle's interior. Once we neared the large stone doors, behind from which I could hear sounds of revelries, the stern woman turned to face us and began in a clipped tone. "As soon as you step through these doors you will be sorted into your houses. As most of you know, there are four: Gryffindor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw, and Hufflepuff."

"And the headmaster is undoubtably professor Oak." I mumbled to myself. The woman paused in her explanation of the Hogwarts points system. "What's that miss?" She asked me sharply.

"Oh, I was just sayin' that I really hope I'm Bulbasaur house." I said with false excitement. The woman gave me a bewildered look before ushering us all into the "Great hall" and we lined up between four crowded tables. I spotted Dumbledore who gave me a quiet smile before standing up to address us. I tuned him out as I glanced around at the four tables. I surmised by the fact that Fred and George were on the table to my left that that house was probably full of douches. As Dumbledore finished, the stern woman placed a raggedy, pointed hat on a stool at the forefront of the room and it began singing. This, too, I tuned out as I looked at the other tables. The one nearest to Gryffindor looked to be full of goody-two-shoes. I eyed the table furthest from Gryffindor distastefully. They looked like a bunch of self righteous divas, and if there was one thing I hated more that obnoxious jocks that was it. The table to our right, however, looked like the table that did not give one scrap of fuck. While the other houses were cheering when someone was seated with them, this table just eyed their plates longingly, giving a half hearted applause when someone came to join them.

"Arvizu, Lyra." I heard my name only too soon. Cautiously, I approached the stool and took a seat. The hat was placed on my head and instantly a voice began badgering me.

"Oh ho ho." It began. "Interesting, you are. Arrogant and ambitious, definitely a Slytherin trait. Very smart and talented, that's a Ravenclaw for you, but then there's fierce loyalty and bravery as well. Seems there's only one place you'll fit in . . ."

"HUFFLEPUFF!" The hat jolted me with it's loud crow. _Great_ , I thought, _I'm in Jigglypuff_. I made my way over to the table where numerous students were giving me questioning glances.

"Hi, I'm Justin. Welcome to Hufflepuff." A tall boy with dark hair greeted me. "A little old aren't you?" He questioned me.

"Transfer student." I said flatly.

"Oh." Justin turned his attention back to the sorting. When the sorting had ended, Dumbledore stood up to say a few more words and then our plates were filled with glorious food! I watched as the Hufflepuffs pounced on the food, stuffing their faces. I loaded my plate with food but was disappointed to find it lacked spice. After years of my sisters wonderful Spanish quisine and the Cajun flavors of Louisiana, the food I was greeted with was a sad sight indeed. After everyone had satisfied themselves, the "prefects" led us out of the hall. We walked down quite a few staircases before finally coming to a stack of barrels. The prefect tapped on one of the barrels five times and the barrels rearranged themselves reveal a doorway. From the doorway we proceeded up a narrow passage which led to a small, cozy looking room. It had a number of yellow and black bean bags on the floor, of which looked to be made of ringlets of golden oak. The ceiling was adorned with a hanging garden, from which there hung delicate vines bearing yellow fruits that looked akin to Maypop. The room was lit with a small lanterns that hung from loose ends of the Maypop vines and numerous candle burned in small cubbies that had been built into the walls. There was an actual tree in one corner, that seemed to be growing out of the floor, on which there twittered a number of small yellow and black birds.

"Dope." I said to no one in general.

The dorms were pretty cool as well. The covers and pillowcases were all tie-dyed and there were various banners hanging throughout the room. I began unpacking, sticking all of my books into more built in wall cubbies. I glanced at my class schedule, wondering what I was going to have tomorrow.

"Hmmmmmm. Care of Magical Creatures, Charms, Potions, History of Magic, Defence against the Dark Arts . . . " I read them off.

"Full day tomorrow?" I looked up to see a cheery redhead with braids had entered the room. "You're the new girl, right?" She asked as she made her way to the spare bed. I nodded in response. "I'm Hannah." She introduced herself.

"Lyra." I replied with a small smile. "You my roommate?" I asked, dreading to be stuck with yet another ginger.

"Yup." She replied cheerily. I stifled a groan.

I slept little that night, worrying too much about the day to come. When I woke the next morning, I glanced in the mirror to find myself a ratchet mess. My thick, black hair stuck up at all different angles and my copper brown eyes had dark circles beneath them that shown nearly black against my sienna skin. I shrugged at my reflection, grabbed my school robes, threw them on, and headed up to the great hall for a decidedly bland breakfast. As I sat down at the Hufflepuff table I heard someone calling my name.

Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted Fred waving me over from his jockish table. I ignored him and began eating. I felt someone sit next to me and turned to find George grinning at me.

"Why are you ignoring us, Lyra?" He asked in pretend sorrow.

"Cause, I'm tryna eat, Jorge. I could eat the North end of a Southbound goat jes' bout now." I snapped at him. He stared at me blankly.

"You . . . what?"

I sighed at his confusion. "I'm really hungry. That's all im say'n." I looked down at the oatmeal that I had in front of me. "If only you Brits knew how to cook propr'ly." I said spooning the think gray mess.

George laughed. "You didn't seem to complain when you were eating my mum's food. No matter, though. You're in luck. I happen to know that your common room is right by the kitchens." I stared at him.

"How does that help?"

"Well, the kitchen is run by house elves so if you go and ask them for something more to your taste, they'll whip it up for you." George supplied.

I raised my eyebrow at him. "How do I get there?" I asked with interest.

"I'll show you later." Said George, jumping up suddenly. "Gotto run, see ya." He called as he chased Fred out of the great hall. I scowled at his back and pushed the bowl of oatmeal aside with a grumble. I made my way outside and down a hill towards a small thatched hut where my Care of Magical Creatures lessons supposedly took place. As I approached the hut, I could see that most of the class was already there.

"Wonder what Hagrid has planned for us for today?" I heard a boy whisper to his companion who shrugged in response. Suddenly the door to the hut opened and out stepped the humongous man from last night a large smile spread across his face. Following Hagrid was a very pale, thin man who did not look as happy. Shaking his head he muttered. "Only for you, Hagrid." As the two came to a stop in front of us.

"Hello, class. I've got a very interestin' firs' lesson planned for you today!" Hagrid beamed. "So then." He continued. "This here," He said gesturing to the pale man. "Is Ignatius an' I spect he'll be doin' mos' of the teachin' today. Ignatius is a vampire." Hagrid explained. All of the students looked at each other in horror and the group took a visible step back at Hagrid's revelation. Hagrid seemed unperturbed. "Well, since Ignatius here can speak for hisself I thought we'd do a little Q and A to begin with. So if any of ye have any questions don' be afraid ter ask him."

This class isn't going to be half bad, I thought to myself as my hand shot into the air. Ignatius looked annoyed as if he'd expected everyone to be too scared to ask anything.

"Yes?" he glared at me.

"It's daytime." I pointed out.

"That's not a question." He looked irritated.

"So you don't, like, burst into flames in the sun?" I asked callously.

Ignatius scowled. "No. We don't. We simply prefer the night because we are nocturnal creatures that does not mean we shrivel up like worms in the sunlight."

"Or like a salted slug?" I supplied helpfully. Ignatius' scowl deepen.

"You'll find that there are many misconceptions about vampires." He was addressing the whole class now. "If you look back far enough, you will find some pretty accurate descriptions but today's society has taken the vampire myth to a whole new level. Firstly, we are not immortal. No one is. Everyone dies. The end. Garlic repels us much like a water repels cats. It will not kill us though. We do drink blood. Obviously. A single bite will not turn you into a vampire though. Suicide is the most common cause of vampirism." I looked at Ignatius and couldn't help but wonder if that's why HE was a vampire. I had to appreciate the irony of it. Someone wanting to end their life being cursed with quite an unpleasant extension of it. I pulled myself out of my musings and focused on Ignatius again.

"Holy water. Not a thing. Water is a containable element unlike wind and fire, and therefore can repel us if infused with the right charm. Wizards were able to do this many years ago but the incantation has been long forgotten. Earth can also have this effect on us if charmed properly. Thus the myth that vampires cannot walk on hallowed ground. We cannot walk on charmed earth. It has nothing to do with religion. A stake to the heart will certainly kill us as it would most people. Any questions?" A dozen hands shot into the air and Ignatius' irritated scowl deepened.

I returned from Care of Magical Creatures with a whole new store of information. _If every class is like that one_ , I thought, _this might not be too bad_. Charms passed quickly enough and I found the class quite informative. Potions was next. I strode eagerly into the dungeons and looked about the classroom. There were already quite a few students there and I noticed that each station was set for two. _Great_ , I thought, _partners_. I rolled my eyes and scanned the room for someone who looked at least half competent. I zeroed in on a petite brunette who had chosen a station at the back of the room. People who sit in the back are usually the quite introverts and I didn't want to be paired with someone who was going to talk my ear off while I worked. As I slung my bag over the chair and took a seat I instantly regretted my decision.

"Wossup! You're the new girl aren't you? The one from America?" She asked obnoxiously. I sighed inwardly. "Yeah, that's me." I confessed darkly.

The girl smiled brightly. "I'm Katie. Katie Bell." She introduced herself.

"Lyra." I grumbled.

"So where did you go to school before?" she asked oblivious to my resentfuless.

"Serpentinoir Academy for the Magically Gifted in New Orleans." I announced proudly.

"Oooooooooo, that sounds fancy. What made you come to England?" She asked.

"My sister got a job transfer. I live with her." I offered. Of course I couldn't tell her about Sirius.

She eyed me curiously. "And your parents?"

"Dead."

"Oh. Gosh. Sorry to hear that." She looked taken aback. I shrugged and decided to change the subject.

"So, who is that fine young man I always see with Harry and Ron at your table?"

Katie looked at me, confused. "Er, Seamus? Dark hair? Always setting things on fire?"

"No. Not that one. The dark one." I supplied.

"Oh Dean! He's ok, I guess."

I looked at her, shocked. "He's fuckin gorgeous." I said in disbelief at her indifference. She shook her head at me. "Well then who do you think is hotter than Dean?" I interrogated her.

"Oh well I think Fred Weasley is just . . . perfect." She gushed. I blinked at her and resisted the urge to retch into my cauldron.

"I guess. If you like that kind of thing." I mumbled. Thankfully the teacher came in before Katie could say anything else about Fred and class began. Snape was no Madame Tyler when it came to fashion and looks, but I had to admit, he sure did know his shit. History of Magic followed. I spent most of the class doodling all over my notes and was happy when the stagnant class ended. Next was Defense Against the Dark Arts. I was looking forward to seeing this class as at the Academy we'd had Appreciation of the Dark Arts which, I imagined, was not quite the same. As I took a seat in the classroom, I eyed the pink spectacle that was our teacher. She was not comely in the slightest sense and the bright pink did nothing for her. I sneered in disgust. Madame Tyler would never allow her teachers to dress like that. It was a disgrace to the name of fashion. Madame Tyler had always been on point with her wardrobe. Not that I care much for fashion myself but this lady's clothing choice was ugly enough to stop an eight day clock. When the room was finally full. The woman got up an introduced herself and then told us that we wouldn't be needing our wand. I couldn't believe my ears. _This school is a fucking joke,_ I thought to myself. Only when I noticed the surprised looks from the other students did I begin to realize that this was not normally how this class operated. When class ended, I stomped out of the room furiously. I was astounded by the incompetence of that class, it was practically pointless. I was fuming when I entered the great hall for dinner. Then, deciding I was not going to eat another bite of that terrible food, I stomped over to the Gryffindor table, grabbed an astonished George by his shirt and dragged him out of the hall.

"Woah! Hey! Not so rough, Lyra. I know I'm irresistible but seriously -"

"Show me where the kitchens are. Now." I cut him off mid-joke.

I glimpsed a hurt look in his hazel eyes before he responded, "Oh. Right. The kitchens. Yeah this way." He strode off in the direction of the Hufflepuff common room and I sauntered hungrily behind him. I descended the stairs that led into the basement to find George standing in front of a painting of a bowl of fruit.

"So- uh- where's the kitchen?" I asked hesitantly. George seemed a little irritated, I think at the fact that I had snapped at him after dragging him out of the great hall. He threw me a sideways glance before reaching him hand out and running a long, thin finger up and down the part of the canvas where a pear was painted.

"Uh, Jorge, I too like pears but I don't understand why you're caressing it like that. It's a little freaky." The corner of Georges mouth rose in an amused smile before a heard a giggle. I gave George a mortified look. He stared back confused before his eyes widened and he stuttered,

"No, Lyra. That wasn't me."

It was then I noticed that the pear had turned into a brass handle. "It was the pear." George was still explaining.

"Creepy." I muttered as George reached out and opened the portrait to reveal a spacious kitchen with four long tables at the center.

"After you." George smirked at me. I climbed through the portrait and was instantly greeted by a group of squeaking house elves.

"Um- yeah. Can I get some boiled crawdads?" I asked the house elves uncertainly. They blinked at me simultaneously and I sighed. "Chicken and Sausage gumbo?" I asked. At this they all scattered happily about the kitchen until one very small house elf hoisted a large bowl onto the table where George and I had seated ourselves. I thanked the elf and then peered down at the soup cautiously. I dipped my spoon into it, brought the steaming liquid to my lips, and blew on it lightly. Finally I brought the spoon to my mouth and gently sipped at the scalding soup. Just then there was a clattering sound and I lifted my gaze to George who was staring at me intently, his arm hovering above his own bowl as if he had been about to try some himself. His spoon lay forgotten, dripping beside his bowl.

"Uh. Hot that." He stuttered, flustered. "The soup, I mean." As his face became suddenly heated. I frowned him before sighing into my soup.

"Mmmmmmmmm. This is so good." I indicated my soup, which the elves had done an excellent job on.

"Oh. Yeah. It's re-really good. Yeah." George stammered. I eyed him curiously, still spooning the hot liquid into my mouth as he suddenly looked down and started in on his own bowl with a strange ferverence. I began licking my bowl once it had been emptied of it's contents.

"Lets go." I motioned to George once I had finished. He looked acutely uncomfortable. "Um. You go ahead, I think I'm gonna get more." He made no move to get up, though. I frowned at him. "But, y'aint even finished the firs'." I pointed out. He looked down at his half full bowl in surprise.

"Yeah. I need to finish this one. You go ahead." I shrugged at him and hurried out of the kitchen calling, "Night, Jorge!" over my shoulder.

As I entered the common room I was overcome with disgust. A few of the boys I recognized from the quidditch team we seated around in the beany bags. Next to one of the boys was what looked like a large phonograph. The boys were taking turns tapping it with their wands and requesting songs. The music in question was some truly terrible Wizarding Hip Hop.

"Hey you're the girl from New Orleans, yeah?" One of the boys greeted me when I entered.

My lips formed a rigid line as I answered. "That's me."

"Do you guy's practice, like, Voodoo down there." another boy questioned. I rolled my eyes as I made my way over to the boys.

"Y'know." I started, "New Orleans is known as the birth place of an entirely different class of magic." The boys looked at me wide-eyed.

"What kind of magic?" One of them questioned. I bent down, took out my wand, tapped the phonograph and said, "Lily Was Here. Candy Dulfer."

Turning back to the boys, "It's called jazz." I smirked as their obnoxious tunes were replaced by the smooth jazz.

"Now I come from the South, boys. It's the birthplace of some of the best music you ever heard." The boys gave me a questioning glance.

"Like . . . country?" One of the boys ventured.

I snorted. "County? Nah, I ain't talkin' bout that mess. Besides Jazz we got Bluegrass and then theres jes' good old fashion Blues."

"Blues?"

I nodded solemnly, "The Blues ain't nothin' but a good man feelin' bad . . . thinkin' 'bout the woman he once was with." I quoted my favorite movie.

The three boys stared at me. I shook my head, sighed, and headed to bed.


	4. The Forbidden Forest and the Ganj Garden

I could not sleep. I tossed about my bed, squirming like a worm in hot ashes. Finally, sensing the futility of my quest for sleep, I got up and made my way to the common room. As I entered the room the first thing I noticed was Justin sitting on the coach staring at me. Then the smell hit me, and _damn_ did it smell DANK. Then, there it was. The answer to my sleeping trouble. I walked over to Justin nonchalantly.

"Justin." I put my arm around him as I took a seat next to him. "Now, 'less you want me to go rattin' on your stoned ass you better gimme a hit of that shit." Justin stared at me innocently. "Now."

Scowling Justin reached into a particular deep wall cubby and pulled out a large bong. I grinned at him as he passed it to me. He used his wand to light it for me as I took a righteous pull.

Thirty minutes later, Justin and I were in the kitchens, eyes red and puffy, every muscle in my body finally free of tension.

"Dude . . . " Justin was saying to me. "I . . . I think Luna's right about those gnargles. I think Luna might be right about a lot of stuff now that I think of it." I nodded lazily at him as I stuffed my face with beignets.

"Dude, Justin. where'd you get that shit? That shit was some of the dankest shit I've ever smoked, man." Justin shrugged.

"There's a guy down in Hogsmeade. The owner of the Hogshead pub down there . . . yeah he sells. Grows the shit in his backyard."

"How much?" I interrogated him.

"Fifteen sickles a gram."

I nearly choked on my beignet. "FIFTEEN SICKLES A GRAM? That's highway robbery right there. Plus we're the one's having to make the trip to Hogsmeade." My eyes narrowed as a thought crossed my mind. "Justin?"

"Yeah?" Justin looked up from him funnel cake.

"You say he grows this shit in his backyard?" Justin nodded, his mouth full of pastry. "Now hear me out here. _What if_ . . . WHAT _IF_ \- we grew our own weed. In the forbidden forest?"

Justin shook his head at me, swallowing the last bit of his cake. "You're insane, Ly."

"Nah, man. Seriously. We could sell it for ten sickles a gram and everyone would buy from us cause who's gonna go to Hogsmeade for weed? I don' know bout you, but I could use that kinda money." I looked down doubtfully. "But then where would we get seed?" I muttered to myself.

"We could nick em from Aberforth." Justin said suddenly. I smiled to myself. I knew he'd be interested.

The following week passed uneventfully and I found that my classes were not as bad as I had originally expected them to be, with the exception of Defense Against the Dark Arts, that is. The next week found me sitting in the library reading up on how to raise certain . . . plants properly when someone plopped down heavily in the seat next to me. "Hey, Lyra."

"Sup, Jorge." I didn't look up from my book.

"Could you quiz me on these plants?" He asked as he laid down a stack of papers, each with the image of a plant on them. "I need to know how to identify them by next period. I sighed as I snapped my book shut and picked up the paper George had stacked next to me.

"Fine," I conceded. George looked visibly relieved. I held up the first page, which had an image of a small golden flower sporting what looked like tiny pea pods.

"That's Goldenpod." George answered quickly.

"Good." I shuffled the papers. This time it pictured a thin vine with large purple pods encased in two large leaves.

"Um . . ." George screwed up his face in concentration. "Bubblevine." He said finally.

"Right." I shuffle the papers again. The picture now was of a thin tree with smooth black bark and malicious looking long red thorns protruding from the branches and trunk.

"Thats-" George studied the picture, carefully. "I know this."

I rolled my eyes. Apparently not. With a sigh, George finally gave up. "I dunno. What is it?" I looked down at the picture.

"Well some people call it Bloodwood and some people call it Tacacia." George looked impressed by my knowledge of Herbology. "I call it hurt." I finished, indicating the long, red thorns. George smiled at me.

"Are you coming to watch the Gryffindor Slytherin match tomorrow?" George questioned me as he twisted a loose strand of fiery hair around his finger. I propped my feet up on the table and reopened my book. "Why would I wanna watch y'all's pissin' contest?" I asked disconcertedly. George quit fiddling with his hair, his mouth forming a theatric pout.

"That's not a nice way of putting it, Lyra. We're two team having an honorable match against each other. For fun." He added. I snorted.

"A dick measuring contest between the two biggest dicks in the school." I surmised.

George squinted at me. "I can't tell if you are insinuating that we have big dicks or that we ARE big dicks."

"The latter." I replied flatly.

Georges face fell. "Well that makes sense, half of our team _are_ girls." I nodded as I reread the same line three times. George grinned at me as he got up to leave.

"I'll see you there." And he left. I exhaled deeply.

I did not go to the game. For this I did feel bad as I later learned of Harry, Fred, and Georges ban from the game. I decided to check up on the boys the morning after the match. After a quick breakfast of frog legs in the kitchen, I entered the great hall and made my way toward the Gryffindor table. As I neared Fred, George, and Harry I immediately felt pity. They all looked worse for wear. George looked especially haggard.

"Hey." I said softly as I took a seat next to George. He looked over at me and gave me a tired half smile. "Boy, you look rode hard and put up wet." At this comment both Harry and Fred lifted their heads, the three boys sporting expressions of complete bewilderment before they all burst out laughing.

"Why is that funny?" I asked angrily.

"Lyra, that sounds ridiculously sexual." Fred supplied breathlessly.

"Well, it's not." I snapped. "It means . . . like a horse, you gotta groom it an' what not after you ride em."

"Well that makes sense." George grinned. "I guess it's just your way of calling me a stud." His eyebrows jumped on his face suggestively.

I eyed the three of them unimpressed. "Well, I came over here to say I was sorry about your ban and that I missed the game but since you're being so rude . . ." I got up to leave.

"Hey! At least you got them to laugh!" Katie intervened brightly. I nodded, unamused as I walked out of the hall, and off to potions.

The month dragged by slowly and soon the weather took on a slight chill.

I walked away from the potions classroom relieved. As I turned the corned I stopped to admire a rather fine portrait of a middle-aged witch who seemed to be playing cards with herself.

"Lonely?" I asked cheerfully. The witch sneered at me over her hand of cards, obviously unamused.

"I wish you'd quit bothering her," Sighed a voice from behind me. I turned to grin at Justin. "She keeps yelling at me to tell you to stuff it whenever I pass her." He scowled at the portrait behind me.

I shrugged at him. "Ready to check on our babies?" I asked brightly. Justin nodded and we walked down the dungeon hallway stopping at a tapestry of a large dragon. Justin pulled it aside for me and I stepped through the opening and continued down the secret passage. As Justin and I stepped out from behind a large statue and into the sun we looked around for any sign of activity before heading towards the Forbidden Forest. Pushing our way through the thick brush we finally came upon a sunlit clearing.

Justin and I stared in awe. "They're beautiful." He said breathlessly. Yes, the seeds we'd stolen from Aberforth really had blossomed into beautiful plants. Their palmate leaves spread to the sides like outstretched hands, a beautiful deep green that indicated a healthy plant. Justin pulled out a jug of molasses water and we took turns watering the plants. I told Justin to go back without me as I went a bit further into the woods. I climbed a steep hill that rose slightly above the trees. I sat at the top, drew my knees to my chest, and watched the sun set. I sat there for a few minutes before sighing in homesickness and stood to leave. As I walked down the hill I realized it had gotten pretty dark. I stared around at the trees, wondering which way lead back to the castle. Deciding to go with my gut, I started walking downhill. I had walked for about forty minutes before I realized that I was totally lost. Telling myself not to panic, I cast around for any sign that might clue me into the direction of the castle.

"Lost?"

I jumped and turned towards the direction of the voice. There was a tall, pale man leaning against a large Oak tree. I squinted at him in the dim light. "Ignatius?"

The man studied me amused. "Now, what would a Hogwarts student be doing in the forbidden forest this time of night?' He questioned, a small smirk on his pale face.

"I wanted to take a walk." I replied flatly. "What are you doing here?" I attempted to change the subject and instantly regretted it as his smirk widened.

"Hunting."

My eyes widened. "For . . . . people?"

His smirk turned into a grin. "You . . . can't do that here." I squeaked.

He twirled a piece of dusky hair lazily before replying. "Actually, I can. The Forbidden Forest is not part of Hogwarts and Dumbldore has no jurisdiction over any of this land or the creatures that reside here. Why do you think it's called the Forbidden Forest?" He continued smirking. Resisting the urge to bolt, I shrugged and tried to appear disconcerted. His looked highly amused as he leaned forward, away from the tree, and strode towards me. I took an uncertain step back and shivered as he approached.

"Cold?" His amusement seemed to grow.

"Y-yeah." I stammered. "It's colder than a well digger's ass in the Klondike out here." I babbled.

Ignatius' face froze before he threw his head back and laughed. "That's one way to put it." He chuckled before removing his leather jacket and putting it over my shoulders. I blinked at him. _I didn't know vampires wore leather jackets_ , I thought. Then, _He's not going to eat me?_

"Um, thanks." I mumbled. Ignatius smiled, took my elbow, and began leading me through the forest, chuckling, "It's this way." We continued walking in silence until the dense brush suddenly opened up into the grounds. I turned to Ignatius, shyly. "Well, um, thank you." I managed timidly. He spared another smirk.

"Anytime." he replied before disappearing into the trees.

As I neared the castle, I noticed something bright pink standing on the steps to the entrance. It was Umbridge. I swallowed. There was no turning back, she had already seen.

"Good evening, Miss Arvizu." She greeted me, a sickly smile on her wide face. "I wonder what it is you're doing out so late?" She questioned me expectantly.

"I couldn't sleep. I took a walk." I stated firmly.

"You're lying, Miss Arvizu." Umbridge was still smiling. I shook my head.

"You're lying." She repeated. "I saw you walking into the forest earlier with a boy. You just walked out with another man. What have you been doing?" She looked smug.

"I really don't know what you're talking about." I said flatly. Finally Umbridges smiled faltered. "Very well, Miss Arvizu. Follow me."

I stared at her hideously pink back as she led me through the castle and into her office, which was just as horrifying as her wardrobe.

"Have a seat, Miss Arvizu." She ordered. I sunk down into a hard, fuchsia chair. "You will be writing lines as punishment this evening." She smiled as she handed me a long, sharp quill. I nodded at her. "You will write I shall not meet strange men in the forbidden forest." She continued as I bit back a retort to her lewd accusations. "You will not be needing ink." She added as she took her seat across from me and began shuffling through papers. My hand began burning as soon as I set the quill to the paper and I glanced and the back of my hand. "I sh-" was etched into my hand. I stared at my hand and then back to my paper where the same letters were inscribed there, in deep red.

"You know, Miss Arvizu." I looked up to find Umbridge staring intently at me. "You are free to go whenever you decide to tell me who you were meeting." Not breaking eye contact with Umbridge, I defiantly finished writing the first sentence and had the pleasure of watching her smile turn rigid before returning my attention back to the paper in front of me. I don't remember how long I sat there writing before Umbridge realized I wasn't going to say a word to her and she finally told me to leave. I glanced at a clock adorned with pudgy kittens as I left the office. It was almost midnight. I scowled at my hand as I made my way to the basement. My stomach growled loudly as I descended into the basement and I realized I had missed dinner. I stopped in front of the kitchen and tickled the pear, awkwardly. The pear giggled and I flung open the portrait and stomped inside the kitchen.

"Hey, Lyra!" George was sitting at one of the long tables. I was surprised to see a large bowl full of gumbo in front of him.

"Hey, Jorge." I replied tiredly. "Shouldn't you be asleep?"

"Shouldn't you?" He retorted. I shrugged as I instructed the elves on how to make a proper shrimp po' boy.

"Lyra?" He said suddenly.

"Hmmmmm?" As I bit into my sandwich. George looked alarmed.

"What's wrong with your hand?" and then angry. "So she got you too, huh?" He asked darkly. I nodded.

"Here, I have something for that." He fished a small, round container from his bag and unscrewed the lid before grabbing my hand and rubbing a thick yellow substance onto it. I was immensely enjoying both Georges impromptu hand massage and the cooling relief the salve seemed to posses when George's hand froze and looked at me with a strange expression on his face. "Who have you been meeting in the forest?" His voice held an accusatory tone.

"No one." I snapped as I snatched my hand away.

"Then why does your-"

"It's nothing." I looked down at my half finished sandwich. I could feel the heat rising from the counters when the elves were preparing tomorrows breakfast and I realized that I was getting rather sweaty.

"Oh no." I gasped. George gave me a questioning glance. I had forgotten to give Ignatius back his jacket.

"Whats wrong?" George was still staring at me, eyebrows furrowed.

"Nothing. I just remembered some homework I have due in the morning." I jumped up and headed out of the kitchen, leaving a behind a bewildered George and a half eaten po' boy.


	5. Harry Potter and Your Mum?

**Kay. So, Jk Rowling own Harry Potter. Much of this dialogue is directly from HP and the Order of the Phoenix so there's that.**

 **Also, I do realize that The Hog's Head came before Harry and Twins got kicked off of the quidditch team but this _is_ fanfiction so just bear with me. On another note, Harry in this chapter is written, um, differently. So yeah . . . have fun, I guess:)**

" . . . And then I wos like 'Fock off, Montague' and then he made a crack at my dad, and I was THIS close . . ." Katie Bell was talking excitedly, gesturing with her thumb and finger to show me exactly how close she came to giving the Slytherin captain a hearty kick to the bludgers. I stirred our cauldron lazily, glancing every now and then at our instructions on the Practical Preservation Potion. I let Katie banter on about Montague. I was actually relieved that Katie was too distracted by her fury at the Slytherin to try and help me with this particular potion. I glanced up at Snape whilst Katie enlightened me as to WHO, exactly, she would like to try that Castration Curse that she'd read about in the restricted section on. Snape was lazily sauntering about his desk, on which there was lined a fanatically neat row of small meat pies. Snape was a bit subdued today, it seemed, as he had refrained from stalking around to insult students brewing skills and had left most of the students to their own devices. As class came to a close, the class was informed why.

"Before you leave my classroom, each group will take a pie from my desk and dip it into their Preservation Potion. This time next week, you will then share that pie with your partner." He sneered. "I will be storing them in my storeroom, without a preservation or refrigeration spell." I raised my eyebrow at Katie as the girls hand shot into the air. Snape eyes flicked towards Katie irritably.

"Yes. Bell?"

"I'm a vegetarian."

"Funny, I don't recall Madame Sprout growing any chicken legs in the greenhouse last time I checked, but you didn't seem to have any trouble shoving multitudinous drumsticks down your astronomically large gullet at breakfast this morning." Snape spat, without missing a beat. I found myself immensely envious of Snape's insult making expertise. Katie looked just as impressed, but undaunted.

"It's a new thing." Katie coughed. "A very new thing."

Snape's eyebrow twitched. "As much as I'm sure you'd like to get into shape before the student breeding ground of Hogsmeade is open to the student body, or bodies I should say. I regret to inform you, Miss Bell, that the giant squid's mating season has passed you by."

My head spun from Snape's superior insulting capabilities. Having no doubt that Katie would push Snape further, I reopened my notebook, quill poised to copy the ambrosia of insults that would no doubt flow like a BP oil spill from Snape's rigid lips.

"I-"

"Detention, Miss Bell, and ten points from Gryffindor."

I stared in awe at the guillotine that was Snape's snarling jaws.

Following that superbly entertaining Potions class, I journeyed to the library to begin on my Herbology homework. I had just installed myself in the dimmest, most remote corner of the biblioteca, when the bothersome redhead of the night before poked his bedraggled head around the corner, grinning as he caught sight of me. I glared at him through a web of unbrushed, black hair as he sat down next to me.

"Howdy, Lyra!" He chirped, perkily.

"Go away."

"So I was wondering," George ignored me. "What do you think of the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor?"

"I try not to." I growled stubbornly.

George sighed. "To the point then. We're having a meeting this Saturday at this pub in Hogsmeade about-" George looked about paranoidly before continuing. "Like, Defense and stuff." I finally looked up from my book.

"Youshouldcome." He added quickly.

As I thought on I grew sick with envy thinking of the spells my year would be learning back at the Academy, under the skillful wand of Madame Tyler.

George was staring at me hopefully.

"Okay. Where at?"

I could almost swear that Georges hair spiked out with happiness as he bounded out of his chair.

"Don't worry, I'll take you to the place when we go. You've never been to Hogsmeade. You might get confused." George stated as if this was the most marvelous revelation in the world. "See ya Saturday!" He shouted loudly as he bounced out of the library. I stared after him, my eyes narrowed into threatening slits. Sighing, I turned back to my book.

Saturday morning I had thrown my school robes on over some black jeans and a Red "Armik" T-shirt over a long sleeved flannel when Hannah waltzed serenely into our room.

"You're going to Hogsmeade then, Lyra?" She asked, scrutinizing my layered attire.

"Yeah, Yeah." I huffed as I pulled on some Xtra Tuffs. "George wanted me to go to this place with him."

"George Weasley?" Hannah's voice sounded oddly squeaky.

"Mmmmhmmm." I grunted as I pulled on the second boot.

"Lyra. No." I stared at Hannah. She had flung open the curtain that concealed our shared closet and was hysterically rifling through my clothes. I watched her in confusion. I dodged to the side as one of my nicer red T shirts came soaring through the air, promptly followed by a short, tight, black waistcoat. Next, came a pair of high-waisted jeans and a pair of combat boots.

"There!" Hannah sighed happily as she waved her wand listlessly in my direction, singing out _"Finite Vestimenta_." I squeaked as my clothes disappeared from my body.

"Does this Hogsmeade have some kind of dress code?" I scowled at Hannah as I hurried into my assigned ensemble.

"Well, you can't go looking like that!" Hannah clucked disapprovingly as she helped me into a semi formal scarlet robe. My head felt suddenly constrained. I moved my hand towards my hair to find Hannah had magicked it up into a high ponytail.

"Perfect." Hannah beamed at me.

"Thanks- I guess. But I gotta go, Hannah." I hurried out of the room before she could do anything else to me.

"Have fun!" I heard her call as I stumbled out of the common room.

I felt ridiculously overdressed as I watched Filch survey my form, though my attire would still be considered ludicrously casual compared to many of the other students. Spotting Fred and George, I trudged my way over to them, hoping to get this whole business over with sooner than later.

Fred turned as I approached the duo.

"Well, hello, Lyra." Fred raised a carroty eyebrow, grinning suggestively. "You look qui-"

Fred was shoved to the side as George eagerly greeted me. "Lyra, you look ravishing."

"Hmpf. Wherdchu learn a word like that?" I mocked him, annoyed that Hannah's handiwork was garnering so much attention. George beamed on, despite my sarcastic remark.

"Oh, you know . . ." George trailed off as he took my arm. "See ya, Fred!" He called suddenly over his shoulder as we hurried off.

"So where is this meeting?" I asked George as he led through the charming, gray village.

"Oh, that's not till later." He answered, pertly. "I thought we could get something to eat before we headed over . . . plenty of time." He added happily.

"Kay." I was rather hungry.

George and I walked a fair way towards the edge of the town where we came upon a festive looking restaurant.

"Welcome to the Aloja Bailando." George exclaimed grandly.

The inside of the building was even more colorful, and I happily settled into a corner table garnished with a red lace tablecloth.

"This is nice, Jorge." I told him earnestly. George beamed.

"I thought you might like it. At night they clear all these tables out and it becomes a Salsa club."

I stared at George curiously. "You know how to Salsa?"

He nodded meekly. This was the last thing I had been expecting from George.

"Yeah." He snorted. "It gets wild down here after hours." George looked on dreamily.

Something about his look unsettled me. _I wonder, WHO exactly, had taught him how to Salsa?_ I thought grumpily.

Full from the brunch, George and I made our way to The Hog's Head, a foreboding building that I was not completely unfamiliar with. We found a number of students already there and George and I took a seat beside a glaring Fred just as Hermione began a nervous speech. I stared at the bartender as Hermione babbled on, smirking to myself. No more would that geezer get away with his outrageously priced Ganj-

"Where's the proof You-Know-Who's back?"

I was jolted out of my musings as a blond I recognized from the quidditch team sneered at Hermione.

"Well, Dumbledore believes it —" She stuttered back lamely.

"You mean, Dumbledore believes him," Blondy indicated Harry with a jut of his chin.

"Who are you?" Ron snarled, aggressively.

"Zacharias Smith, and I think we've got the right to know exactly what makes him say You-Know-Who's back." The blond puffed out his chest, importantly.

"Nobody outside of this school believes him," Smith continued, accusingly. "I know my mum doesn't, and neither does Seamus'." Smith stated, as if that settled that matter. "Neither does- " Smith would have continued but Harry cut him off.

"That's not," Harry started quietly. "What your and Seamus' mum said last night."

Smith stared at Harry, indignantly. "Hey-"

"Is it true," another Hufflepuff intervened, "that you can produce a Patronus?" She asked Harry, hurriedly.

"Ptsh. Uh- Yeah." He answered cockily.

"Blimey, Harry! I never knew that!" Lee boomed to my left.

"Mum told Ron not to spread it around. She said you got enough attention as it was." Fred smiled at Harry indulgently, not anticipating what was coming next.

"Your mum's not wrong," Harry muttered. "And she would know cause she was the one giving it to me." He finished quietly. The few people who got it giggled nervously. It took Fred and George a couple of seconds before they had realized what Harry had been insinuating.

"HARRY-" Fred sputtered.

But he was cut off by a tanned Ravenclaw. "And did you kill a basilisk with the sword of Gryffindor?" But he, in turn, was cut off by Neville.

"In our first year he saved that Sorcerer's Stone!" He announced proudly. Harry spoke up.

"Look, I don't want to sound like I'm trying to be modest or anything, but I had a lot of help with all that stuff. . . ."

"Are you trying to weasel out of showing us any of this stuff?" As if he hadn't learned his lesson, Smith was back to making rude comments.

"I don't know, Smith." Started Harry, coldly. "Why don't you ask your mum? I showed her the sword of Gryffindor and my sorcerer's stones last night."

The meeting continued without another word from Smith and ended with us all signing our names to a slab of parchment with the intentions of practicing defensive spells once a week.

"Not a bad turn out, Harry." Lee was surveying the list of names that Hermione had had made. "This is longer than I thought it would be." Lee indicated the list of names. Harry grinned.

"You know, Lee. That's exactly what-

" _YOUR MOM SAID_." Fred and George finished Harry's sentence as we headed out of the pub. I groaned.


	6. Rejection and the Room of Requirements

"Hey, Lyra. Finch-fletchy!" I glanced around the common room to find none other than Zacharias Smith strutting towards me.

"Yeah?" I turned from my hushed conversation with Justin, to regard Smith's important pose.

"Message from Granger. We're meeting in Room of Requirements Wednesday evening. It's apparently directly across from that tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy on the seventh floor. " Smith reported in answer to our questioning glares.

 _The Room of Requirements?_ I peered questioningly at Justin who shrugged in response. The only room I was aware of by that tapestry was a dry storeroom that Justin and I had picked out for drying our . . . product. _No matter_ , I thought, _I'll just ask George. He seems to know this castle like the back of his-_

"So, I hear you're dating that Weasley bloke." Smith wasn't finished. I stared at him in horror.

"Ron!? _Puh-lease_ , Smith-" I started, indignantly.

"No, not Ron." He snapped at me. "George. Don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about." He continued accusingly.

I narrowed my eyes at him, unable to discern whether he was joking or not.

"Yeah. I heard that too!" Justin chipped in, suddenly. I spun my head so fast in Justin's direction that he jumped back, alarmed.

"Where you hearing this dirt talk?" I glared from Justin to Smith, frustrated.

"Well, you did come into the Hog's Head with him." Smith pointed out, smugly.

"Yeah, and you said you went to dinner with-"

"Brunch." I corrected Justin, irritably.

"So, you admit it?" Smith wasn't ready to let go of the topic.

"No!" I scowled at the blond unhappily.

"So, what? Don't tell me you're just _friends_?" Smith prodded me.

"No, we ain't even friends, neither." I barked angrily.

"Well, then will you go out with me?"

I stared at Smith in obvious trepidation, unbelieving of the words he had just dared to utter.

"Absolutely not!" I shot up from my seat next to Justin and rushed out of the common room, savagely.

 **}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{**

"Right, shall we get practicing then? I was thinking, the first thing we should do is _Expelliarmus_ , you know, the Disarming Charm." I sat cross-legged, my arms folded, on a thick. blue cushion in what was no longer a dry storeroom. We were finally getting down to business after electing Harry leader. _As if that doesn't go without saying_ , I thought, annoyed at the waste of time.

"I know it's pretty basic but I've found it really useful —" Harry was cut off, to no one's surprise, by Smith.

"Oh please. I don't think _Expelliarmus_ is exactly going to help us against You-Know-Who, do you?" Smith asked with a roll of his eyes.

'You know what, Smith?" Harry addressed Smith, who stared at him expectantly. "I'm not sure what sucks more, your attitude or your mum."

I rolled my eyes. When would Smith ever learn?

Spotting a certain redhead heading my way as people started pairing off, I grabbed the nearest person in reach.

"Partners?" I asked Katie.

"Yeah!" She crowed, enthusiastically. "I've got loads of jinxes I've been wanting to try-"

"Where've you been learning jinxes?" I cut Katie off, Interested to know who had been teaching her spells that Umbridge had strictly banned us from learning.

"Oh . . . you know, in like . . . books?" Katie faltered, flustered.

I squinted at her, untrustingly. Katie Bell reading anything that was not erotica or a fantasy novel seemed highly unlikely. I shrugged to myself, dismissively as we began the lesson.

It seemed that Katie _had_ been practicing some new spells as she fired one after another at me. I was having a hell of a time disarming her as I dodged from one side to the next, narrowly avoiding her hexes.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Harry approach Fred and George who were getting nowhere as it seemed each one anticipated the other's next move to the exact second.

"No. No. No. This isn't gonna focking work." Harry surveyed the two like some sort of wizarding drill sergeant.

"You two aren't going to be battling each other out there. You two need to be paired with someone else." My heart sank as Harry eyed me and Katie from across the room.

"Oi! Bell! Arvizu! Come 'ere." Harry barked at us.

Warily, Katie and I approached.

"You." Harry pointed at Fred. "With Bell." I saw Katie grin suggestively out of the corner of my eye.

Harry walked off without another word, trusting that George and I had enough sense to pair ourselves together. I glanced wildly around the room, looking for anyone, _anyone_ but George to practice with. No such luck. I turned to George who was happily beaming down at me.

"Kay. Let's practice." I stated shortly as I shuffled back a couple of feet.

"Where's your wand, Jorge?" I asked him, noticing his empty hands.

"Oh, I won't be needing one." I frowned at him, questioningly.

"Because I'm disarmingly handsome." His grin grew. "Get it _disarmi_ -

" _Stupefy!_ " I flicked my wand grumpily at him as I felt my face become heated. He dodged to the side, laughing.

Procuring his wand from inside his robes he shouted " _Expelliarmus!_ " And my wand went flying to my right where Fred was hurriedly dodging Katie's barrage of spells. I dove to snatch my want back just before Katie sent a spell that sounded suspiciously like _Finite Vestimenta_ towards Fred.

I hurried back to my station to do battle with George, not failing to notice the sneer Zacharias Smith was sending in our direction.

 **}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{**

"Fred! What the fock happened to your clothes!?" I heard Harry reprimand a nearly naked Fred as the lesson came to a close.

"Sorry, Harry! I only meant to jinx him but I guess it just came out wrong!" Katie chirped unconvincingly as she gave Fred's bottom an appreciative _SMACK_ through his Chudley Cannon boxers.

"Oi! Enough of that!" Fred jumped in alarm as Katie skipped out the door.

Fred's body, I was ashamed to admit, was not entirely unsatisfactory. Lanky as he was, the removal of clothes revealed him to have a well balanced physique, not lacking in the brawn department. The dusting of freckles that rained down from his shoulders only served to accentuate his toned shoulders and abdomen. I glanced from Fred to George wonderingly.

"The answer to your question is yes." George was smirking at my roving eyes. I didn't need to ask what he was referring to as it had been pretty obvious that I was wondering how similar George and Fred's bodies really were.

"Sleepy time!" I announced loudly as I tore my eyes from Fred and hurried to the door. As soon as I exited the room; however, I turned to find George hot on my trail.

"Hey, Lyra!" He caught my arm.

"Y-yes?" I tried to wriggle out of his grip. He didn't seem to notice.

"I was wondering if, maybe, you'd possibly like to go to Hogsmeade with me next weekend, perhaps? And conceivably have dinner, perchance?" George studied me hopefully, running a freckled hand through his pumpkin-colored hair.

"Ummm- Uhhh . . ." This was exactly what I had been trying to avoid.

"George," George frowned at my use of his English name. "I- Idonreallylikeyoulikethat." I forced the cruel sentence out of my mouth, cringing.

George's face fell before he returned blankly, "Oh. Well, sorry then." And trotted off hurriedly.

Back in my dorm, I groaned at the thought of the encounter before letting myself fall, face first, into my bed.

 **}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{**

I was awoken the next morning by a very angry banging on my door.

"Uuuuuuuuugh." I groaned, groping around my nightstand for my wand, my face still stuck in my pillow.

" _Alohomora_." My bedroom door was forced open and a very angry redhead came stomping in. I sat up groggily, peering hesitantly through my lattice of hair.

"How could you, Lyra?! How could you?!" Fred demanded angrily.

"What, Fred?" I sputtered confused, my voice coming out a croak.

"What's so wrong with my brother?" Fred face was flushed with indignity.

So _thats_ what this was about.

"Fred, what time is it?" I peered grumpily out of the window.

Fred ignored my question.

"Are you already seeing someone? Is that it? How could you just break my brother's heart like that?" Fred demanded of me.

I studied Fred's flushed face, wondering if George really had taken my rejection that badly or if Fred was just being a drama king.

"No, Fred. I'm not seeing anyone." I started tiredly. "George just isn't my type."

"No." Fred interrupted me. "You just think he's not good enough for you!" Fred pointed accusingly.

"That's not-"

"Well, let me tell you something, Lyra!" Fred ranted on. "Nothing is ever good enough for you! You've been on some sort of high horse ever since you got here! Our school isn't good enough for you! My family isn't good enough for you! Hell, even our food isn't good enough for you!" I decided to stop Fred before he gained too much momentum.

"Get out, Fred." I growled at the ginger.

"I wish you had just stayed in New Orleans!" Fred shouted as he turned on his heel and headed out of my room.

"YEAH!? WELL, THAT MAKES TWO OF US!" I shouted at his retreating shadow just as Hannah walked, wide-eyed, from the bathrooms.

"Having a row with your boyfriend?" She questioned apprehensively.

"Arrrrrrgggghhhhhhh!" I yelled as I dove back onto my bed and into a mountain of pillows.


End file.
